Friday, November 19, 2010

Some Surgical Procedures Are Easy

Attention Supervisors,

If you have not already had your sense of irony removed, this note should serve as a reminder that it is a quick and easy process. Indeed, unless you have felt compassion for an employee in the past two months, you won't even need anything more than a small dose of local anesthetic (now administered in the neck - we found that direct local anesthetic to the brain area was superfluous).

To test if the procedure was a success, we recommend that you take a moment during the weekly staff meeting to proudly announce you are leaving early that day to take a short vacation, scant moments after having justified to an employee why their claim for Family Leave - to take care of a medical situation for their son - was denied. If you are feeling extremely confident that the procedure went well, then perhaps leaving one or more entire walks unattended for three days or more without consequence for yourself or your fellow supervisors would prove an exciting challenge, especially when faced with employees who recently received five day suspensions for missing half a dozen flyers.


Canada Post Management

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