If You Can't Say Anything Nice...

Starting a few years ago, my father, George Murphy, began to be inundated with garbage emails from friends and family about Muslims, about the changes we were bound to see in our (Western, Christian) society, and how afraid we all needed to be. Three years ago he wrote a response to all of that, but left it sitting on his hard drive.

Until the other day, that is. Today he included me as a cc in a string of emails that all arose from a You Tube video called "Tip of the Iceberg - The beginning of the End for Britain" (you don't get a link, since I am not keen on giving hits direct from here to the jackass who posted it. If you go you'll see the name of the person).

I've addressed the whole "we're losing out society to the rapidly-breeding brown horde" meme elsewhere, and am frankly tired enough of it not to want to dig in again. I do wish that woman in the video would have made another video with the local brown shirts marching, or perhaps took the time to talk to the families of Jean Charles de Menezes or Ian Tomlinson. But then that would appeal to a different crowd, wouldn't it?

And before anybody jumps on me for any perceived slight or error, let me clarify something: First, my dad was a police officer, and I don't have anything against the police. Just against abuse of power. Second, I am an atheist, and therefore don't believe in the Hell these marching Muslims are chanting about. This belief is inherently silly to me, and is of the equivalent in my mind of the person lamenting to my sister the lives of all those poor people who died in the Air India bombing who weren't Christian, and therefore were going to end up in Hell.

This is not terribly constructive, but the video maker's inability to recognize that it isn't just Muslims who squawk in this ridiculous fashion shows just how provincial her own views are (and no, I don't buy into the crap about what she was wearing. How many people live in Britain? How many told her to cover herself up?). And don't forget about the power of editing. Did she have any constructive conversations? If so, where are they?

Anyhow, let me turn this over to my dad:

ON BEING A CANADIAN
George Murphy Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

I write this in response to the many e-mails that make their way onto my screen. Some are from relatives, some from friends, some come from strangers or passing acquaintances.

There seems to be much chatter about how this country (Canada) was founded on Christian (probably Protestant!) hard-working values. “We” (our forefathers) accepted the country as it was; kissed the ground as they arrived in Halifax or elsewhere, and set to work to make a living for themselves, their children and their adopted country.

All of this is true and well worth celebrating. As immigrants, we helped to forge this nation into the respected “I want to live there” country that we have become.

Some of the darker side things that I remember growing up still linger for me and I want to tell you about them, so I will.

When I was a child and on into teen years, there was an influx of people from Europe. They had fled the hunger and the insecurity of the aftermath of WWII. We called them “DP’s” and “Bohunks” and laughed at the ditch diggers who wore suit coats while they wielded shovels to help their families eat and live under a secure roof and have food on the table. We felt so much better than they. They were not as good as we were because they had go dig ditches while they were too stupid to know that you didn’t wear good clothes to do manual labour. They spoke some unintelligible language and we didn’t dare go near them! (They stank of garlic you know!)

Then there were the Indians. As long as they stayed on their reserves we were comfortable. Once in a while, I remember, they would drive their wagons into town to attend a rodeo, but nobody mingled. We kids were too leery and our parents made no moves toward that, usually telling us to stay away. None of us knew, or talked about, the Residential Schools and the terrible legacy that would bring

As we grew into later teen-age and young adulthood, many of us began to understand that name-calling and denigrating others because they were different was not good.

Well, what is “not good”?

“Not good” can have many connotations:
Not good for “them”
Not good for “Us”
Not good for “The Country”

Not good for them
 
How do you feel if an individual puts you down for no reason other than you are who you are? What if that is multiplied many fold?  How do you react? Do you become introspective and stay within your “own kind” as much as possible? Are you reluctant to learn the language of the masses? Do you go to ESL classes and learn what you think (and what you are told) is sufficient to work in this new society but are unable to find a job? If you do find a job, and it requires dealing with the public, are you a cause for jokes or hard feelings because your first language is not English? (Here I say “English” because we Anglophones don’t always acknowledge that we have two official languages in Canada. That's another story!). Do you work at menial jobs because you hope for a better life, at least for your children who, you are convinced, will adapt to these new ways?

There are stories circulating about easily identifiable minorities who have stated a love for their own country at the expense of some symbol of our country. These individuals are reported (on many e-mails) to have cast aspersions on our soldiers, our Canadian flag, our way of being “Canadian”. These shadowy (unidentified) figures are often told “If you don’t like our country, go back where you came from!”

I have little doubt that such people exist and that some have been guilty of remarks such as those reported but, don’t they have the right to say those things? Don’t we have the right to rebut? Don’t we have a responsibility to tell those that say these things about Canada “You have the right to say that, but I have the right to tell you I think you are wrong and tell you why I think that way". This might, heavens forefend, lead to a discussion about how we each feel the way we do. This could mean dialogue without ideology getting in the way.

Not Good for Us

What does prejudice do for us? To us?

Does denigrating another help us to feel better about ourselves? Does it somehow lift us above those others because we grew up here and have the right to be “Canadian”?

What happens when we put another into a position of being a lesser being than oneself? I think, rather than giving oneself a glow of satisfaction that is lasting, it has the real potential of “putting a knot in your gut”. So-called “Righteous Anger” becomes a rallying cry for prejudice and is as “Not-Right” (read WRONG) as can be. The more we focus on others’ “shortcomings” the more we become bitter about the state of the country and, in perverse reaction, we set up Human Rights tribunals and see parts of our society becoming politically correct to the point of nausea.

The human condition being what it is, we all make errors in judgment and, if we are not careful, those who judge those errors become stone-throwers in glass houses.

Not Good for the Country
 
If the number of e-mails I receive is any indication (and I have no empirical proof of this), then there appears to be some sort of groundswell reacting to real or perceived slights against our ideals of   “Peace, Order, and Good Government”.

People of different origins (other countries) coming here to become citizens do what any of us do. They bring thoughts and feelings about their origins with them. People try hard to keep the past alive. Look what a huge industry the Family Tree movement has become!

Those who berate “new” Canadians for not conforming to our ways are not necessarily wrong; it’s just that the reaction to people who do things differently is not, in my opinion, necessarily the “Canadian way” either. The e-mails I receive are essentially anonymous. Even though I might get these from a friend, relative or acquaintance they are still anonymous. Even if they have a name attached to them like “Refle”, or “Jesch” or “Roloub” (my constructs), these are only the ones who passed them on to my most recent contact who then sent them on to me.

Some sort of campaign is happening that smacks of whispers on the playground and too many people are buying in to something that is, essentially, non-debatable unless one responds to individual e-mails thereby running the risk of losing a friendship or the respect and love of a relative or friend.
Where is the debate factor? If newcomers feel slighted, put down, denigrated, harassed, bullied or otherwise unwanted, where do they go? What do they do?

Just now it seems to be the Human Rights tribunals or the court system, or to break the law. Isn’t there another way? Can’t we have, say,  talking circles where we can come together with our grievances, express them like adults, listen to each other and resolve issues as best we can? 
Sure, this takes involvement and deals with issues one on one without the luxury of having someone on high decide who is right or wrong. It takes strength to admit that we are not always right; and I’m talking about everyone, not just “True Canadians” or “Newcomers”.

Is there some way that we can help each other understand each other? Can we go beyond the “Heritage Days” concept and actually get to know each other?

I want to share one last thought. An e-mail received on November 2009 brought the following “facts” and a question to my computer screen:

“Let me see if I understand this…
IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT. IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.
IF YOU CROSS THE CANADIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY; YOU GET A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENSE, SOCIAL INSURANCE CARD, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION, FREE HEALTH CARE, A LOBBYIST IN OTTAWA AND IN MANY INSTANCES YOU CAN EVEN VOTE.   What is it that I don't understand?”

Well, what is it that is not understood? I probably can’t help the person who asked the question. I can’t even talk to him/her personally because, like so many of these missives, the writer is anonymous.

What I can say is this:

I’m proud to be a Canadian!
I’m proud of the fact that we accept people from other lands.
I’m proud to say that many of us are working hard to bring about inclusion of our first nations.
I’m proud to say that we are mature enough to recognize and celebrate differences between and among us.
I’m proud to say that I believe most of us Canadians recognize the worth of each other as we travel together in this world.
I’m proud to say that Canadians have a voice in our own country and one that is respected around the world.
I’m proud that I can be a part of that voice.
I’m proud that we do not treat people the way the writer of the e-mail contends other countries treat people.
Finally, the wording and the content of that e-mail appear to come from another country. Do we not have enough “True” Canadians to create our own rants?